For forty-two years, I (Maria) suffered from depression. Even as a little girl it isolated me from other children; I did’t want to play with them. I remember always climbing up a tree in our backyard. There I could hide from the rest of the world.
I have five sisters, but none were like me. They were always laughing. Many times people would tell my mom, “How well behaved this little girl is!” What they didn’t know is that the reason I was so quiet was I was terrified inside. I didn’t know how to play; I didn’t know how to laugh.
My entire life was impacted by what I had to go through as a child, and it had to do with my father, who was an alcoholic. He used to beat my mother and my sisters, always carrying weapons and constantly threatening us, saying that he was going to kill us while we slept. Because of this, every night I would try to stay awake until I was overcome by sleep. I was terrified and had terrible nightmares. I would wake up and see the shadow of a man opening my closet door and putting on my father’s coat and hat.
Whenever I was afraid I would run to my backyard and sit for hours by a pear tree. Since my family didn’t know what was the matter with me, they could not help me.
The bad relationship between my dad and my mom and us had consequences for the rest of my life. Because of it, I didn’t want to get married. Perhaps I tied myself down — not wanting to go through the same thing that my mother had to go through.
The depression continued throughout my youth and adult life. I lived constantly locked in my room in complete darkness. I smoked all day, drank, and played the game of the cup. I also had a strong inclination for the occult. I liked it. I was always trying to move objects with the power of my mind, and I used to read palms. I also read tarot cards, predicting the future of those who asked. All these demonic bondages drove me to an even deeper pit of desolation.
One day my mother told me about some meetings taking place in the city of Moreno. It was one of Brother Annacondia’s crusades. Right away I felt I needed to go. During those days a very loud voice started to tell me to drink poison and kill myself to bring my misery to an end. But I was so sick that I didn’t have the strength to go out and buy the poison.
The crusade lasted fifty-two days, but I only got there four days before it was finished. All that time, the devil wouldn’t stop compelling me to commit suicide. One afternoon my mother invited me to go out. We got on a bus that passed right in front of the tent where the crusade was held. I started to scream, saying I wanted o get off. I was loud; all the passengers were staring at me, and the driver simply had to stop to let us off. When I got off, I ran into the tent where the crusade was taking place.
On February 12 1987, I accepted Jesus into my heart. That first night I didn’t want to leave that place. I was so happy; my life had changed , and the depression had left. During the following meetings, something inside didn’t allow me to go up front so that Brother Annacondia could pray for me. But the last night of the crusade, I finally did. When they started to pray for me, I started to shake uncontrollably. The counselors took me to the tent of deliverance and there they continued to pray for me. I had to renounce many things that were in my heart, including hatred and bitterness. The devil had me in such bondage that I was in complete torment. When I decided in my heart to be free, however, the Lord brought change right away.
Several times I had to renounce certain things before God that had been hidden in my heart. In one of those times, as I was praying with others, some felt from God that I had a spirit of divination, and that I had been involved with tarot cards. So they started to rebuke that evil spirit and to pray for my deliverance. Suddenly, we heard a loud noise, like a cup exploding, and I was completely delivered.
Soon after, my family also came to the Lord. They saw the change God produced in me. The neighbours started to see me walking out in the street during the day and wondered what had happened. I had always been in my room, sleeping all day, and by the time I woke up it was already dark outside. So I lived in darkness. The time would go by, and I would complain for not having done anything all day. That’s why all the people that knew me could see the change in me. Now I get up early, I smile, and I go to church. God truly changed my life.
(From the book Listen to Me, Satan! By Carlos Annacondia in 1998, pg 43-45)